If you are a parent of a teen, then you know all too well the pressure of talking about sex. I always am surprised to hear that some parents wait until their childnren are teenageers to even broach the subject of Sexuality. Sex is a normal, healthy part of our everyday lives. As such, I think it is important to be open and honest to our children and teens about the both the benefits and risk of sexual behaviours.
I am not saying to give your 5 year old a detailed lesson on Intercourse, but answering their questions in a honest and open age appropriate way is so important. If we can answer these difficult questions and create an environment where asking these questions is safe, then perhaps as our children get older we may have the privilege of answering even more difficult questions. I will always remember the "first" conversation I had with my Dad about sex, I am not sure who was more nervous, although the shaking of his hand certainly gave him away. What I took away from that conversation was that it was OK to talk to my parents about my life. I knew I could ask a question without getting in trouble, and that my parents would not laugh at my questions, simply answer them openly and without criticism.
I always thought talking to my own children about sex would be easy. After all I was a Nurse, that had educated many youth on sexual behaviour. I can tell you without much shame to my ego that it was extremely difficult. There is something about the thought of your child/teen having sex that is so outrageous, and it boggles my mind. This is how well I handled my first encounter...
My four year old daughter nonchalantly walks up to me and states "I know how the babies get out.." Now to be clear I had two C-sections with my children, and she thinks the doctors cut out the babies (not a complete lie.....sigh), but then the big question..." But how did it get in there". As I sat there stunned I realized that I didn't have an answer. Me, the Nurse who thought that I would always be so open and realistic about Sexual Health did not have the answer. So I did what any good mother would do in a crisis, I said...."We'll talk about it tomorrow."
The next day my daughter wakes up and doesn't say a word, and I think that the inevitable question has blown over. My daughter has plans to go to my parents for the day (Nanny and Poppa) and off she goes and I blow a sigh of relief.
Well she returns home and after a short hug and kiss she says..."Mommy did you know that you have eggs in your belly and they turn into babies..." I sit there for a second stunned and say well yes I did...my daughter quickly retorts " Poppa told me....so thats how the babies get there.
Simple, Easy and totally age appropriate. Why couldn't I think of that. Once again...Dad to the rescue.
It's funny how the simplest of answers eludes us when faced with difficult and slightly squirmy questions. Do you have any stories out there about your first conversations about sex with your child and teen? Any great answers to share?
Hope you all have a great Sunday......and Thanks again Dad.
